Rumor has it that Revenge of the Sith will be Jar-Jar free. This, more than anything else, makes me consider actually going to see it in the theater. And I seriously doubt I’m the only one to breathe a huge sigh of relief and feel A New Hope.
Perhaps I should explain: Star Wars changed my life. I was a massive fan boy, so excited about the release of episode one the wait was unbearable. And then to have the long wait rewarded by being poked in the eyeballs with the inexcusable piece of offal that was The Phantom Menace was viscerally painful. Apart from the ridiculous script and wooden acting, the main source of pain was that hopped-up retarded lizard walking around doing a step-n-fetch-it impersonation.
[Dimming lights and ominous music.] The horror, the horror.
So here’s an idea for Lucas to increase inevitable DVD sales from gargantuan to planet-crushing: Make an extended version with a gruesome death scene for Jar-Jar.
Myself, I picture some sort of intergalactic wood chipper slowly sucking lizard breath in, blood and pulped intestines splattering from the exhaust.
“Meesa hurt! Make bad machine stop!”
You could even put in a giggling Sith Lord with his finger on the switch if it helps you preserve your “Artistic Vision.”
Posted Friday, 06 May, 2005 by Nic Lindh
Another book roundup, including some stellar athletes and soldiers, what might be the most jaded, soul-weary protagonist ever, and some grimdark fantasy.
The Internet is getting creepy, and Nic is breaking out his tinfoil hat after newspaper paywalls push him over the edge.
Nic is tired of tech sites obsessing over Apple’s financials and business strategy. So very tired.
Nic reads a book about the processed food industry and is incensed.
Computers are complicated. This brings out the irrational in people.
Nic proposes the loan word Rechthaberei be incorporated into American English.
The Core Dump is back! Books were read during the hiatus. Includes The Coldest Winter, Oh, Myyy!, Tough Sh*t, The Revolution Was Televised, The Rook, Mr. Penumbra’s 24 Hour Bookstore, Gun Machine, Fortress Frontier, Standing in Another Man’s Grave, and The Memory of Light.
This site will return in February.
From a true patriot to a world-weary detective, a dead god, and a civilization about to sublime from the galaxy, this book roundup spans the gamut. Includes Where Men Win Glory, Wild, Inside the Box, The Black Box, Three Parts Dead, Red Country, and The Hydrogen Sonata.
Springsteen gives a concert in Phoenix. It’s fantastic.