Children of the night

One thing you can be sure of when it comes to young children is that they will only need to go potty when it’s inconvenient. Ask a child if she needs to go potty before you go to the store and the answer is invariably “No!”

Then at the store as soon as the cart is loaded, only one thing can happen: “I have to go potty!”

The same thing goes for dinner time. Ask your child to go potty at the same time as she washes her hands for dinner, and the response is a look of utter incomprehension. Of course she doesn’t have to go potty. Duh. What is wrong with you?

So today Andrea had to go potty in the middle of dinner, as is to be expected.

She came back to the table and I asked if she had washed her hands. Nope. And, “Did you wipe yourself?”

“No.”

“You know you have to wipe yourself after you go potty.”

“I forgot, because my brain is nocturnal.”

“Your brain is nocturnal?”

“Yes, ’cause I was born in the night when I was asleep.”