The Core Dump

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures

[By Nic Lindh on Friday, 06 May 2005]

Revenge of the angry fan boy

Rumor has it that Revenge of the Sith will be Jar-Jar free. This, more than anything else, makes me consider actually going to see it in the theater. And I seriously doubt I’m the only one to breathe a huge sigh of relief and feel A New Hope.

Perhaps I should explain: Star Wars changed my life. I was a massive fan boy, so excited about the release of episode one the wait was unbearable. And then to have the long wait rewarded by being poked in the eyeballs with the inexcusable piece of offal that was The Phantom Menace was viscerally painful. Apart from the ridiculous script and wooden acting, the main source of pain was that hopped-up retarded lizard walking around doing a step-n-fetch-it impersonation.

[Dimming lights and ominous music.] The horror, the horror.

So here’s an idea for Lucas to increase inevitable DVD sales from gargantuan to planet-crushing: Make an extended version with a gruesome death scene for Jar-Jar.

Myself, I picture some sort of intergalactic wood chipper slowly sucking lizard breath in, blood and pulped intestines splattering from the exhaust.

“Meesa hurt! Make bad machine stop!”

You could even put in a giggling Sith Lord with his finger on the switch if it helps you preserve your “Artistic Vision.”

Soundtrack: “Star Tonight” by DJ Stompy itunes

« Your own personal drive-in


Enjoy the ten latest posts!

Book roundup, part 27

Includes Hollywood Dead, Tales from the Loop, Things from the Flood, The Court of Broken Knives, and Port of Shadows.

To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle

“Cancel everything. You’re going into emergency surgery today”

Nic has a retinal tear and has his vision is saved by a laser.

Book roundup, part 26

Includes The Storm Before the Storm, White Trash, Calypso, Tell the Machine Goodnight, Prince of Fools, and Provenance.

Renewing the nerd card: Installing Ubiquiti UniFi in the house

The Internet tells Nic to install Ubiquiti gear in his house, so he does, and now he has thoughts.

The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism

Working in the pod mines

What I wish I’d known when I started podcasting.

It is impossible for a person to begin to learn what he already thinks he knows

Smell the Foam Finger

Nic starts a new podcast about—gasp!—American sports.

Book roundup, part 25

Mostly excellent non-fiction in this installment. Includes Fantasyland, The Miracle of Dunkirk, Das Reich, The Undoing Project, Waiting for the Punch, Vacationland and Points of Impact.