The Core Dump

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures

[By Nic Lindh on Friday, 27 October 2006]

Awkward conversations with a four-year-old

One evening recently we were having a nice quiet dinner when Andrea asked me, “Do you have a round thing, daddy?”

“Ehm. A what?” I said, swallowing my spaghetti.

“A round thing. Like Bob.”

Bob is one of the boys at Andrea’s preschool.

“What do you mean a round thing like Bob, honey?”

Andrea rolled her eyes a little bit†. “A round thing! To pee-pee!”

“Oh.” Pause. “Oh.”

The Master Plan has been to keep the existence of the “round thing” outside Andrea’s awareness for a while longer, but since this anatomical cat was out of the bag, nothing to do but talk it through.

“How did you see Bob’s round thing?”

“When he went potty.”


A sigh of relief as the pervert-defcon status was downgraded.

“Do you have a round thing, daddy?”

I must admit that at this point I was searching quite hard for a graceful way out of the conversation, chewing on my spaghetti, and didn’t respond.

“Do you have a round thing, daddy?”

Seriously, toddlers are like the freaking Terminator when they want to know something.

“Yes, daddy has a round thing, too.”

A wise nod. “All boys have round things.”

“Yes, all boys have round things.”

“I don’t have a round thing.”

“No, that’s because you’re a girl.”

“Are you a boy, daddy?”


“Because you have a round thing?”

“Yes, you’re a boy if you have a round thing. Only boys have round things. Now please eat your chicken nuggets.”

†Oh yeah, that bodes well for the future…

« Build it and they will crumble


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