[By Nic Lindh on Friday, 25 February 2005]
Been getting tired of being out of shape, and so finally bit the bullet and joined a gym. Naturally, when going in for my first session of weight lifting in way too many years, I was only too aware that there would be a price to pay.
As the voice-over in the trailer for my life* would say, “A price … in pain.” Therefore, took care to make the first workout an easy one … just did two sets on each machine with light weights, worked up a good sweat but nothing too Rambo-esque. Which should ensure that the soreness would be minimal and easily overcome.
Right. So how did that plan go?
Woke up in the very early morning of workout plus one from excruciating pain in the lower arms. The pain then moved around a bit during the day, kind of feeling out new and interesting parts of the anatomy, but toward the evening, things weren’t so bad. Went to bed feeling pretty good.
Voice-over: “But the pain would not stop there.”
Woke up on workout plus two with the realization that, hey, brushing my teeth may not be possible today. And then spent the rest of the day uttering cool and hip little things like “Ouch,” “ow,” and “dammit” whenever forced to move as well as having a constant soundtrack of Will Ferrell’s character Mustafa the Assassin in Austin Powers saying, “Anyone! Can someone call an ambulance? I’m in quite a lot of pain.”
But it’s getting better.
Voice-over: “Or so he thought…”
*Which would indeed be the most boring movie ever made.