After much wiggling and tongue-poking, the first milk tooth ejected itself from Andrea’s gums last week.
She was all kinds of excited. Not only was she a Big Girl, but the Tooth Fairy was coming, so she was going to get paid.
As with all fictional characters, said Tooth Fairy landed quickly in the parental bat belt of weaponry.
On the evening after the monumental event, we were fighting the usual get-child-to-bed battle, when daddy had a flash of brilliance: “If you don’t go to sleep now, the Tooth Fairy will miss this house.”
Mommy caught on quick: “Yes, the Tooth Fairy has many houses to visit, so if you’re not asleep she won’t be able to wait. Better go to sleep now.”
We tip-toed out of her room high-fiving each other for our cleverness.
So of course she didn’t fall asleep, but instead came to mommy and daddy’s bedroom to further probe the mysteries of the Tooth Fairy.
“You better go to sleep, or the Tooth Fairy will miss our house, and you won’t get any money.”
“How do you know?” Uh-oh.
“Parents know these things.”
“Did the Tooth Fairy come when you were a kid?”
“Yes, sure did.”
“Did you see the Tooth Fairy?”
“No. The Tooth Fairy only comes when kids are asleep.”
“Parents get to see the Tooth Fairy. But not kids. The Tooth Fairy only comes when kids are sleeping. That’s why you have to go to sleep now, so the Tooth Fairy can come.”
“So how do you know the Tooth Fairy is busy?”
“They tell you these things when you become a parent.”
And then she passed out on our bed, to wake up to a fresh and crispy dollar bill under her pillow the next morning. She was more excited than Christmas, running around the house with her dollar yelling, “I can buy things now!”
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Nic has a retinal tear and has his vision is saved by a laser.
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Nic starts a new podcast about—gasp!—American sports.
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