Long-haul flight tips from a grizzled veteran of the air

I’ve flown back and forth between Sweden and the US since 1989, probably an average of every two years or so. This is a lot of miles on airplanes and I think I’ve learned a few things over the years, so here are some tips that might make your experience a smidge better than it otherwise might have been.

First off, embrace the suck. Air travel has gotten progressively more unpleasant over the years and it sure doesn’t look like that’s changing anytime soon. Like my last flight, which involved ten hours at O’Hare’s Terminal 1, aka The Place that Reeks of McDonalds. You will encounter people at their worst, most entitled behavior in an unfamiliar, stressful environment. The best you can hope for is that the flights will be reasonably on time. At worst you will be stranded somewhere far from home overnight and have to hope the airline will be able to find you a hotel. If not, you will sleep in a terminal. This will suck but you will survive. Embrace the suck.

Be as nice as possible to the staff. Their jobs involve dealing with terrible people in stressful situations. And no, there isn’t a secret backup plane they can produce if you’re mean enough to the gate agent. Just try to be as nice as possible. It’s better for your mental health and there’s a slight off-chance it will make the staff more likely to go above and beyond for you. And even if they don’t, it doesn’t cost you anything to be nice.

I once got an upgrade to first class from Heathrow to O’Hare for some mysterious reason and it was glorious. Was it because I was nice? I don’t know. But I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have gotten it if I’d been a dick to the gate agent. A bathroom you can turn around in on a flight. Glorious.

And yes, some of the staff will have gone through bad days and will take it out on you. It doesn’t matter. Embrace the suck.

Over all these years I’ve usually ended up being slightly sick after the flights. Not always, and usually just some mild crud, but ask yourself, do you want to spend the first few days of your vacation or business trip with not only jet lag but also with some kind of crud making you miserable?

The way to avoid it is to wear an N95 in crowded areas of the airport and especially during takeoff and landing before the plane’s air handlers kick in. Once the flight reaches cruising altitude the air handlers on the aircraft work efficiently enough that you’re probably decently safe from the germs and viruses from all over the world you’re locked in the metal tube with for many many long hours. Or leave it on through the flight if you want. You do you. But my personal anecdata is that since Covid I’ve masked like this and have been gloriously free of crud after my flights. Well worth the inconvenience, I think.

Obviously just typing this makes me a target of the Gods and I’ll no doubt get horribly sick on my next flight, but that is a risk I’m willing to take for you.

Since things can and sometimes do go terribly wrong, I recommend packing a change of shirt, socks, and underwear in your carry-on. You might spill on yourself or you might have to spend the night in a terminal somewhere. For me at least, a fresh pair of undies and socks makes all the difference for how I feel for the rest of the trip. Also wear clothes that hide stains. Turbulence is a thing.

I also recommend having few snacks to tidy you over in case you get stuck at a closed airport overnight. You hopefully won’t have to eat them, but it’s always good to have options.

Long-haul flights these days usually have USB outlets for charging, so having cables for your phone, laptop, and whatever electronics you’re using is a great idea. Plus adapters in case you’re at an airport that doesn’t have USB outlets in the year of our Lord 2024.

Long-haul flights are surprisingly tiring. A strange malaise kind of tiredness. So even if everything is smooth, you will not be operating on all cylinders after a while. Before cell phones I spent a lot of frazzled time trying to figure out what time to set my clock. Even dumb things like “it’s seven hours ahead” gets surprisingly difficult with long-haul brain. Or maybe I’m just a bit thick. Either way, it’s a great idea to get a passport holder or sling bag you can wear around your neck. Into that bag goes everything you must have, like passport, phone, wallet, the customs form you might have to fill out, an extra pen, charging cables, etc. The passport is the most important thing. Anything else you can squander away, but on a long-haul flight your passport is the single most important thing in your possession. Make sure you keep it around your neck. Cheap little passport holders can be found at any self-respecting airport in case you forgot to buy one in advance.

A surprising amount of long-haul fatigue is caused by the sheer noise volume both on the flights themselves as well as in the terminals. Noice cancelling headphones help immensely with lessening the fatigue, and if you’re going to be flying regularly, they’re well worth the money. Plus you can use them the rest of the year at the office so it’s not a sunk cost.

I also highly recommend putting a tracker in your luggage. This kind of thing used to be science fiction and now they’re cheap and work really well. The piece of mind of being able to check where your luggage is while you’re waiting at the carousel is tremendous. Even if your luggage is one of the last bags out you’ll know it’s coming instead of making up exhausted scenarios in your mind. And if your bag is stuck somewhere without you, you can make a beeline for lost luggage instead of waiting for the sadness that is seeing the last bag come rolling down the empty carousel.

Plus the rest of the year you can keep it in your car for peace of mind.

The biggest thing is simply to be prepared, both with kit and mentally. You’re not going to have a good time, but you’ll survive. Embrace the suck.

Oh, and please don’t be the absolute dingus who watches movies in the terminal on your laptop without headphones, just blaring explosions and gunshots at everybody in earshot. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior. None. Anything you do that makes anybody else’s experience worse is unforgivable.

So, bag around your neck for the passport and wallet, and snacks and a change of underwear in your carry-on and you’ll be OK. Eventually. Embrace the suck.

#blog